Talking about movies: The Resident

Hey, everyone.  For the first time, Yikes is joining me for a post.

So as I've said, I've been very excited for the return of Hammer Horror.  I enjoyed the hell out of Wake Wood, and last night I got a chance to watch The Resident on Netflix streaming.

Well, shit.

Great.  1.5 floating heads.  Uh oh, she's looking this way. I better not say anything bad.

So, first of all, this is set in America, in Brooklyn, so already most of the Hammer feel is jetissoned and this is just another thriller about about a girl who moves into an apartment by herself, and I guess that's scary because girls can't take care of themselves and need a big burly landlord to protect them.

Of course, the twist, which is that he is not her protector but rather her stalker, is revealed halfway through the movie, or IMMEDIATELY if you read the Netflix synopsis:

A young doctor moves into a Brooklyn loft and realizes she isn't alone in her new abode. Now she's struggling to survive as she attempts to disentangle herself from her landlord, who has a key to her home and a growing obsession for his tenant

Of course, it's revealed even faster if you looked at the video cover and saw the grumpy landlord on the front.  I would complain, except the movie makes it so obvious I felt like the big reveal was just giving me a refresher on what happened over the previous 40 minutes.

You're posting spoilers.

Garbage can't spoil, yikes.  So basically, everything throughout the movie felt completely nonthreatening to me.  Her landlord is mostly a self-concious oaf who peeks at her through peep holes and creeps around in the walls.  I guess that's sort of unsettling, but it's also not a problem that can't be solved with a change of address. Later in the movie he gets a little more invasive, but by that point I was already disinterested and just waiting for it to end.

There was a part in the movie where he's hiding under her bed, and her arm is dangling down, and I thought he was going to bite her finger off.  I was disappointed.

Okay?

Well, I was dissapointed with the movie overall.  There was exactly 0 character arc for everyone, and the climax was nothing more than a source of irritation.  Swank's character, Juliette, does the cliched hitting the attacker with a weapon, then abandoning said weapon and fleeing no less than 4 times.  

I think the only positive thing I have to say about the movie is that Lee Pace, hopefully best known as Ned from Pushing Daisies, shows up for a little bit.

Hi, Ned! Please keep getting work.

So if you're in the mood to check out what might as well be a remake of previous, better done girl-moves-into-an-apartment-but-it's-scary movies, then you might as well check this out on instant watch. Alternatively, you could just watch something on Lifetime.