Friday, July 13, 2012

G-Fest: Dealer Room Visit One

Great success already! I've barely had time to look around and already scored Red King from the Ultraman and a Bandai Mothra larva.

G-Fest: Survival

So we've been here a few hours and so far the hotel has already burned down and we've been hit by hazardous weather.

G-Fest halfway there

Highway McDonalds are the best McDonalds.

G-Fest: Day One

It's the morning of. Things are packed, and the car is prepared. If Godzilla is out there, we will find him.

As many updates will be posted as possible, if the Internet holds up under the kaiju menace.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Talking about: Godzilla and GFEST

So, G-Fest starts TOMORROW.


Of course, we are going to be there.  We should be arriving tomorrow in the afternoon,  well before the opening ceremonies at 7:45.  Our intention is to send out some video from the event.  I would say more, but I'm literally too excited to talk about it.  Instead, I will leave you with a sample video from our personal collection.

More to come soon!

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Talking about: The Fourth of July

So, the holiday is pretty much here, and I wanted to talk about something that a lot of you might already be tired of hearing about:  Safety.  If you're following this blog, you're probably a little like us in that your ears perk up excitedly at the sound of dismemberment and mutilation.  On the other hand, you're probably less enthused when it's your own body being torn asunder.

Well, that's why I think this needs to be brought up, and I know you know where I'm going with this:


Worldwide, Yetis kill over 6,000 men and women per year.  Six Thousand!  That's a big number of casualties, so let me put it in perspective.  That's more than Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger and Michael Myers' combined kill totals (subject to change).

As most know, Yetis are naturally curious beasts when they aren't being driven by their lust to kill for food.  That means, for anyone who lives near even a modest size forest-- and this goes doubly for those of you choosing to camp out the holiday, where you'll be in unfamiliar territory-- the sound of your firecrackers, bottle rockets and roman candles will be a feeding beacon to every lumbering beast in earshot.

It has been estimated that a yeti can hear the labored breathing of a tired hiker from up to 3 miles away, so just imagine how many can hear your patriotic explosives!

To keep safe this season, we have compiled a list of yeti-safe 4th of July tips!

  • First: Just stay home.  Go head, you're off work.  Stay in and watch somebody else blow themselves up.

Since that idea is about as useful as abstinence-only education, let's move on to the rest of the tips.

  • Keep in mind that, like most living creatures, yetis dislike being set on fire.  Therefore, if you're having a particularly festive Fourth, you may have the tools needed with you already!  Point those roman candles at the beast and let fly.  Just try to avoid starting any forest fires, because yes, there ARE things worse than a Yeti on the Fourth.
  • If attempting to flee a yeti in your vehicle, do NOT attempt to run the thing down.  Yetis are stronger than cars, and they WILL flip your vehicle and strip it open to get to the tasty meat inside.
  • If you're caught in an open area with no real means of escape, well, you're going to die.  I know, that isn't the information you wanted from a tip list, but let's be realistic here.  It's faster than you, it's stronger than you, and in a few of your cases, it may even be smarter.  What are you going to do? Kick it in the nards? 
  • Hypnotism does not work on yetis.
So, that said, everyone get out there and have a great, safe Fourth of July!

Explosions for everyone!

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Talking about: Motor City Nightmares

Motor City Nightmares 2012

I had a disturbing nightmare last night.  I was in a field, and dozens of bumble bees arose from the grass around me.  With nowhere to go, I could only accept my horrible fate of being stung to death.  

I blame Tony Todd.

Well, you did have an opportunity to meet him yesterday.

Holy crap! What happened to your neck? Do you have a neck?

I had a little accident at the con.

Did you get trampled or something?

Why would I get trampled?

Oh, you know, I mean. . . your stature?

I may be an uncommon individual, but there's nothing wrong with my stature. Let me tell you what happened.

Go 'head!

Well, we get to the con, and it's a cool place. Everyone seems nice, no one's pushy. There's a guy selling cool horror themed clocks right by where you get tickets.

Yeah, I got a cool Friday the 13th themed one. It's one of those few series that can actually fill an entire clock face with movie entries.

Well, you went to go do whatever you did. . .

I hit up the Dark Shadows promotional people. I won a mini poster.

I went straight to the people that would appreciate me: the other horror celebs.


So I talked to PJ Soles, you know, from Halloween and Carrie and all that. She was really friendly.

Please tell me you didn't piss off Norma from Carrie.  She was very nice when I met her.

Why would I cause trouble? I met up with Tony Todd next, and he wanted a photo together.

Of course, it was his idea. You didn't say something stupid about bees then?

It's not really in my nature to say stupid shit. 

After that, I got to meet up with Michael Berryman. You'll probably remember him as one of the protagonists defending his land in the original The Hills Have Eyes.

Uh. When is the last time you watched Hills Have Eyes?

A few days ago. Why?

Just, uh, different interpretations. Go on.

Well, he's really chummy, and he wanted a photo, too. I don't usually do a lot of picture posing, so it was fun.

Pretty cool. I'm not really sure I'm following how this is going to lead to a sprained "neck," though.

Believe me, I'm getting to it. 

If you could fight your way through the crowd back there, eventually you got to Kane Hodder.

Oh yeah! A big fan favorite, and he's always so nice at these things.

Yeah. . . well, I get up there, and Jason is one of my favorite stabbers, you know? He kind of inspired me to get into the business in the first place.

The stabbing business.

Absolutely! And here's the thing. I got more excited than usual, and I started talking about the Friday films, and I mentioned something about Freddy vs Jason being my favorite in the series.

Uhhh, that is a really good one, but I'm sure you pointed out the one glaring, obvious flaw in the movie, right?

Well. . .

I mean, you said "Oh yeah that's my favorite Friday flick, except for it only having the second best Jason," right?

I may have neglected to express my full thoughts on the film.

So you met a horror icon more stabby than yourself, but only actually got your "neck" wrung.  

Man, I don't even feel bad for you now. I suggest next time keeping the talk restricted to his book.

I thought maybe he'd sign my neck brace!

I think maybe next time we'll go on different days.