Sunday, April 29, 2012

Talking about: Motor City Nightmares

Motor City Nightmares 2012

I had a disturbing nightmare last night.  I was in a field, and dozens of bumble bees arose from the grass around me.  With nowhere to go, I could only accept my horrible fate of being stung to death.  

I blame Tony Todd.

Well, you did have an opportunity to meet him yesterday.

Holy crap! What happened to your neck? Do you have a neck?

I had a little accident at the con.

Did you get trampled or something?

Why would I get trampled?

Oh, you know, I mean. . . your stature?

I may be an uncommon individual, but there's nothing wrong with my stature. Let me tell you what happened.

Go 'head!

Well, we get to the con, and it's a cool place. Everyone seems nice, no one's pushy. There's a guy selling cool horror themed clocks right by where you get tickets.

Yeah, I got a cool Friday the 13th themed one. It's one of those few series that can actually fill an entire clock face with movie entries.

Well, you went to go do whatever you did. . .

I hit up the Dark Shadows promotional people. I won a mini poster.

I went straight to the people that would appreciate me: the other horror celebs.


So I talked to PJ Soles, you know, from Halloween and Carrie and all that. She was really friendly.

Please tell me you didn't piss off Norma from Carrie.  She was very nice when I met her.

Why would I cause trouble? I met up with Tony Todd next, and he wanted a photo together.

Of course, it was his idea. You didn't say something stupid about bees then?

It's not really in my nature to say stupid shit. 

After that, I got to meet up with Michael Berryman. You'll probably remember him as one of the protagonists defending his land in the original The Hills Have Eyes.

Uh. When is the last time you watched Hills Have Eyes?

A few days ago. Why?

Just, uh, different interpretations. Go on.

Well, he's really chummy, and he wanted a photo, too. I don't usually do a lot of picture posing, so it was fun.

Pretty cool. I'm not really sure I'm following how this is going to lead to a sprained "neck," though.

Believe me, I'm getting to it. 

If you could fight your way through the crowd back there, eventually you got to Kane Hodder.

Oh yeah! A big fan favorite, and he's always so nice at these things.

Yeah. . . well, I get up there, and Jason is one of my favorite stabbers, you know? He kind of inspired me to get into the business in the first place.

The stabbing business.

Absolutely! And here's the thing. I got more excited than usual, and I started talking about the Friday films, and I mentioned something about Freddy vs Jason being my favorite in the series.

Uhhh, that is a really good one, but I'm sure you pointed out the one glaring, obvious flaw in the movie, right?

Well. . .

I mean, you said "Oh yeah that's my favorite Friday flick, except for it only having the second best Jason," right?

I may have neglected to express my full thoughts on the film.

So you met a horror icon more stabby than yourself, but only actually got your "neck" wrung.  

Man, I don't even feel bad for you now. I suggest next time keeping the talk restricted to his book.

I thought maybe he'd sign my neck brace!

I think maybe next time we'll go on different days.